Come one, come all, for the greatest, the most magnificent, the super-stupendous and ginormously-illustrious mustache wax on earth! Indeed? ... one might inquire how such a copious claim could be legitimately supported? Allow me to enumerate the ways.
Natural and organic ingredients?
Always and forever, of course.
Easy to use?
Easy as a Aunt Maize's warm peach pie on a sleepy Georgia Sunday morning.
Great scent?
A scent so sweet and miraculous it'll transport anyone but the most depraved and soulless to a magical and majestic land of unmeasurable masculinity. FACT.
By the beard of Zeus! ...you need to spoil your facial fur with my most excellent Mustache Wax-with its blend of organic beeswax, shea butter, exotic oils, and actual secret incantations. Meaning that this is the only "kit" you'll ever need. Bend your mustache to your will; make even your beard listen to your every command!
I say, my good man, let there be handsome handlebars, charming chevrons, healthy horseshoes, and every other magnificent mustache imaginable. THE TRUE LADDER OF SUCCESS? Grow a mustache, use this wax, and you can get a promotion, be upgraded to first class, get invited to join the Duke of Durham's Dastardly Damsel's Club, have tea with the Queen and rotgut with a motorcycle gang, befriend an actual wolf pack, find yourself crowned King of a small country... and then at long last you will indeed discover yourself a... Polished Gentleman.
