Your long search is finally over: You have found a Joe Biden-Scented Candle. Now the only thing standing between you and Joe Biden is...well, basically all the same stuff as before. But at least you have this great candle!
The Joe Biden-Scented Candle is more than just a candle with a picture of Joe Biden stuck to the lid. It's also a friend, a confidante, and a mentor (but only if you're trying to be a candle). You'll feel your hope and optimism being restored as you inhale the aroma of Biden's favorite orange-flavored sports drink. (We won't mention the brand name, but see if you can guess! Here's a hint: It's not Powerade.) You can even pay homage to Biden's love of Amtrak by bringing it along on your next train ride! Nothing is a bigger hit on trains than a lit candle.
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TYPO ALERT: So, we just realized there's a typo in some of the fine print on the label. (Specifically, a sentence is missing the word "to.") The good news is that this means you can show the candle to your house guests, and challenge them to find the missing word. It will probably take at least a minute or two, which will be a minute or two of blessed relief from having to talk to them.
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Brought to you by the authors of Hottest Heads of State: Volume One: The American Presidents. If you've enjoyed reading this item description, then you would probably also enjoy our book. It's basically like this but much, much, much, much longer.
