Iguana Mean Green Jalapeno Pepper Sauce, 5 oz bottle

Rule of thumb? Never drink tequila on an empty stomach. Second rule of thumb? Don't drink & play with wild iguana, especially large green ones. So's I grab this lunker iguana by the tail and whad'ya think he does..? Whips around and bites me on the nose. Ouchywawa! My nose resembles hamburger. A local senorita sees my predicament and motions for me to follow. She pulls a plump green pepper from the bodega, butterflies it with a rusty knife and spreads it over my throbbing proboscis. Bueno she sez... That's hot I say. So how do you spell relief??